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Saturday, September 24, 2005
Nelson vs Napoleon 200 years on

So I was checking out the antique shops in downtown Toronto today, and came across one stuffed to the rafters with Napoleon this and Napoleon that, quite the fulsome display of despot worshipping to say the least. So I says to the keeper: "Got any Nelson, monsieur? I'm somewhat culturally antagonistic to all this Napoleon, but if you have anything in Nelson, we can definitely talk price." By this, I could tell I had tweaked a nerve as he was obviously a den worshipper who stood in awe of the man, an older gentleman who probably had studied all his battles, read countless books,...besides this was Canada and why wasn't I being characteristically docile. "No I have nothing in Nelson and nothing English", was the curt but friendly reply.

He went on: "Did you know that Napoleon was a bigger man than Nelson?". How is that possible, I thought, Nelson won. But he was talking about physical stature, that Napoleon was a taller and heavier man in size. I knew that Nelson was only 5 foot four, but I had no idea that Napoleon was two inches taller. I thought the guy was a total midget, like 5 foot nothing at the most, but there I was conceding to a Frenchman that Napoleon was a bigger man than Nelson. Even when they lose, the French somehow know how to declare victory. What a glorious bunch. Yeah, Napoleon's a bigger man than Nelson, alright. In your dreams, Frenchee.

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